chapter one

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My story starts at the start to the Tudor period.

Henry VII had just won his crown in the last of the battle of the Roses. Not that we know that then. There had been so many wars between the noble house of Lancaster and York that we werent sure it was the end.

Standing at my post outside the doors to Westminster Palace after the wedding of the king to Elisabeth of york, in my fancy new guards uniform I couldn’t help but notice the people cheering for them who not many day ago where crying out for both their blood. They made a sight progressing through the street towards us, surrounded y their noble friends and servants.

It was a lot to take in for a lad of barley sixteen years. Even though i had seen my fair share of bloodshed and killed many a man in the heat of battle. I proven myself worthy and the king himself asked me to be one of his royal guards. What else was  a lad from a small fishing town to do but say yes.

I had only been in this post a short time and still didn’t know my way around the palace. It was the largest biggest building I had ever been allowed to stand near let alone be allowed to call home. Yet here I was watching the royals pass through the doors close enough to touch.

Right behind them came their trusted friends and nobles they had to invite to keep the tiny peace we had fought for. Behind them came their servants dressed in drab dull clothes that made mine all the better. But then in the mist of the servants my eye was caught by a fair headed young maid. She looked out-of-place amongst the servants. her hair shone gold in the mid afternoon light, and her clothes where slightly better than the rest. Yet for all this she was walking with the trusted servants in the same way as them. But i swore then and there that she was the most regal person i had ever seen. Even more regal then my king and queen.

The other servants seemed to feel the same way as they pressed close to her as if to bask in her glory.

As she moved past me she looked me straight in the eye giving me a small nod and smile, before i could return her greeting she had disappeared into the palace. A place where I would probably never see her again.

A sharp smack across the back of my head drew my attention back to front and center.

“Keep your eyes where they are paid to be.” Shouted the gruff gaurd master into my ear. With a last blow to my head he moved off round the palace to check on everyone else.

That was the first time I saw her. The girl, the woman, the goddess who was to change my life and destiny forever.


preface to novel

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Through out history people’s perspectives of me and my kind have drastically changed. When people started noticing us we where bloated almost corpse’, with overly large yellow teeth and a fetish for very bloody meat. (Although if we could get our hands on a nice big bowl of fresh steaming blood we thought we had hit treasure.) Where ever we went we were pitied from a distance. Pitied for being case out from gods grace. To protect themselves from gods curse we were sent to camps surrounded by armed men.

If we were lucky one of the men would fall asleep away from the others where we could have our way with him. As the years past some of us learnt to survive on only the odd drink of blood every now and again. the others ended up becoming more monster like. Carving fresh meat, and doing anything they had to, to get it.

Slowly we two kinds of cursed passed into folklore, to be whispered about around the fire-place on dark and windy nights. As the world turned we changed, found through the blood we drank that we became more and more like those we drank from. Often many centuries after we lost our human we found them coming back, sometimes more beautiful than before.

Then with the help of a writer we became courtly ladies and gents, walking the night entrancing any we meet into giving up their life’s blood for us. During this time people who read the story and believed in the folklore of their homelands sought us out. killing us with pointy wooden stakes before we could kill their Mothers, Fathers, sons, daughters and neighbors.

We were hunted down like animals and before the final death-blow was delivered we would often be tortured. In the hunting community it became a badge of honor to keep one of us alive for days or weeks before death. A lot of the techniques that are used today in torture were perfected on us during those dark days. None of them really wanted to have questions answered. They never believed whatever answer was given in desperation to end the pain. They just wanted to hurt something as much as they could. Some of my kind believe that if those people hadn’t been carving their evil out on our kind they would be out doing to other humans who had the bad luck to be in their sight when the urge to harm came over them.

Suddenly things changed. People where reading and writing stories that pt my kind in the lime light like never before. We went from being all evil as a race, to being heroes and almost godly in the powers we were given.

Stories of us as victims of a disease or life we didn’t choose, didn’t want. trying to run from what we are, or live life as if nothing would get in the way of us doing good. The pained hero having to forsake everything to protect the weak person they loved was suddenly one of us.

Some of wat has been said of us comes close to being truth, but most of it is just lies to sell books and movie tickets.

I’m here to tell you our story, the truth behind the lies about my kind.

We are your nightmares and dreams rolled into one.

We are the part of you no one wants to admit to.

We are the best part of you.

We are here to stay.

We are Vampire.

Weightloss mark 2

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Since my last post I have received information about three different ways I can go forward with my weight loss with  help from a Dietitian, within my area. All of the options are for people who’s bmi is greater than 30 which sadly mine is.

The first option is Eatwell sessions. Four sessions over three months with a follow-up session after six months.

This session looks at helping you read food labels, ideas for a healthier life and looking at ways to help reduce weight.I dont feel that this session is really for most people, myself included. The course is very informal and there isn’t really a lot you can do in two hours one very three weeks to help you learn how to improve your health and weight.


The next option is Inside out. Two hours every week for eleven weeks followed by assessments six months, 12 months and two years after completion of the course.

This session is a group weight management course, which looks at eating habits, emotional eating, the amount of activity you do. whilst also going out and about within the local area for walks and other such activities. Whilst making sure that every move you make is a healthy one.

I feel that this option is most likely the best one on offer, as it is closer to what most people like myself trying to lose weight healthy need. Plus with the regular assessments after completion of the course you have that safety net of knowing you will be seen again to make sure your still on the right track.

Lastly the final option is one on one sessions with a Dietitian. One hour sessions for up to six months.

This option looks at the way you eat, what you eat, how to change the way you eat in a healthy and lasting way.

I believe that this option will be helpful if you can’t face doing this kinda thing in front of others. and as you’re the only one in he session you have the complete attention of the dietitian for the session. This is the one session where I feel you really have to put in a lot of work to progress as there isn’t any one lese there to ask the questions you feel are to silly ask or to prop you up if you don’t feel like opening up as much on that day.

These options are better than I thought I would be offered when I was referred to the service and I can sign up to take part in all of them not just one or two. Its something which means that as I wait for the option I really want to open I can be doing something else.

Yes losing the weight is something only I can do, and its something that I need to do for my health, but with these options I have people there to help me gain the skills I need to lose the weight and maintain the weight loss.

World Arthritis Day

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Just found out that today is World Arthritis Day. Really wasnt aware of this just like i’m not aware of most of the World whatever days.
Like did you know the other day was world coming out day. and that its national coming out day in britian? nope neither did i till my tweeter feed filled up with people commenting on the different days.
How do you celebrate these days? Well it could appear that meerly commenting on the day is enough.
Whilst its a good idea to have different days where we become more aware of things, surely it would help if we know about the days before hand and how were meant to make them. Surely people who are yet to come out as gay dont need a special day to do it on. any day when they had the courage to do is a good day. not some cold and windy october day.
Rememberance day is a day that means a lot to people and one of only a few days for something that i understand and want to carry on. But again surely we should be able to commerate our fallen and injured brothers and sisters in arms on every other day of the year. Thankfully for the british legion and help for heros we do have that one special day to bring their case to peoples attention and get them to give much needed money to the carities to help them help others.

Michael Jackson

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We’re two weeks into the trial and already i’m way beyond sick of hearing about it. Getting updates on the trial is one thing but to have other news interupted so the news can go to a live fed from the courtroom seems a bit extreme.
Yes we wouuld love to know what happened on that tragic day, but surely there comes a point where not only are we getting too much information about whats happening in court and the whole process become baised.
How can ther be a fair trial when the whole world is watching the process and commenting on it. There are people who think Dr Murray should be sent down for life and others who think that he was just trying to do his job. They get into huge debates about it, which in turn spill on to the airwaves where the jurors are going to hear/ see it.
I also think that no one is really considering the effects this whole show (which is what it has turned into) is having/will have on the three Jackson kids. Two of them are old enough to know whats going on and be affected by it no matter how brave a face they put on things.
The youngest one may not really know whats happening but in a few years will be old enough to see the coverage on the internet and be effected by it.
I went on a news site earlier and as the main picture they had a photo of Jacksons naked body after his death. Thats something i as a fan of his dont want to see and can only imagine what it must be like for his children to see it/ know that its out there for public consumpution. No one other then the people in the courtroom needs to see it.
Through out the past two years i have felt that no one is really looking out for the childrens intreasts in this whole debarcle. AFter what their uncles went through as children in the spot i would have hoped that they wold protect the children better, as the evidence is that the grandparents arent very good at protecting children.But sadly that doesnt seem to be the case. i’ve heard and seen more about the kids int eh past two years then i have in the ten before Jackson died. That doesnt seem right. He worked hard to make sure that teh kids where protected from the media so they could live a semi normal life. Now you open a newspaper and see pictures of them of the type that an adult celeb wouldnt be happy being published.
Hopefully this whole thing will blow over sooner rather then later so the kids can try and build a life without their father, and remember him as he was full of love and life. Not as a cold body waiting for its final medical invasion.



Earlier this year i decied that it was time to lose the baby weight i put on. I put on about five stone. which is a hell of a lot in the four months i had of not being sick four times a day.

The last for months i lived off red meat, potatoes and sweets. They where the only things i could eat without throwing up. I know not good for me or the baby. (but he came out a healthy 7lbs 2 and 54cms long.)

So anyway after months of trying to lose the weight by exercising more and eating less i had lost only about 8lbs.

So in my quest to lose the weight and get healthy again i did what any right thinking person would do and took myself off to the doctors. where after a blood test to see if there was a medical reason for it came back all clear, i somehow managed to get the doctor in the place whos yet to become a proper doctor.

After explaining the problem to him he told me there was nothing medical he could do for me as the test results where normal but congratulated me on admitting i had a problem with my weight. and how proud i should be that i’m willing to do something about it.

He told me that losing the wieght is down to me and theres nothing they could do. but then after weighing me he announced if i fail to lose weight after seeing the dietian i could go for a gastric band or somache stapling surgury. something i really want to avoid as that doesnt help the underlying problem i have.

looking arond there are so many options for people trying to lose weight. Theres as many different types of diet and exercise programmes that i just dont know where to start. Hence the trip to the doctors.

I have as many different recommendations for programmes to try as i do friends and family. all of them swearing theirs is the way to go.

Maybe i’m looking at this whole wrong and should just dip my toes in the water and pick one. but that just seems wrong somehow. i dont know enough about diet and such like to know which is the right one for me.

And, i find it hard to believe that most people who do diets know if they are on the right one for them and staying healthy whilst they are on them.

Plus on the other side of the coin when coming off the diet everyone tends to put the weight they have lost straight back on again. So it’s a lot of pain for not a lot gain and quite often people put more weight on then before they went on the diet.

Its all just so damn confusing with no clear course as to where to go and how to manage it.

Crazy Fans

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Just been flicking through Wikipedia to see if any of my fave books are being turned into movies/tv series. And came across a rumor that the rights to the first Morganville Vampires book Glass Houses have been bought.

Well that got me thinking maybe I could find out more with a little google search. Many searches later I find myself looking at a forum board for the actor Bradley James, who’s currently staring in the bbc series Merlin. Please don’t ask how I got there as I havent a clue. Think I may have started looking up Merlin stuff as it’s a good show.

Any way I found myself on a forum board all about Bradley James and it was full of threads about his teeth, who he is rumored to be dating, who people would like him to date from the show, and the weirdest one yet how long would it take to shave his chest hair!?!

having seen this and got thinking about insane things people say about people they don’t know I had a look to see if it was same for other actors on their forums. and I have to say the Merlin actors one was pretty tame compared to some of the stuff i found on others.

Take a movie database website forum for Robert Pattinson. theres a lot of titles there that where x-rated and of the ones that weren’t x-rated some of them seem to call for the murder of his current girlfriend so he could then date the poster. Now while I agree that the person rumored to be his girlfriend isn’t a very good actress and I tend not to watch anything she’s in, I would never say lets kill her. she must be doing something right to still be getting roles.  but very few people who hae something negative to say about her on the forums seem to have not looked past the fact that she is dating Pattinson and they don’t like it.

None of the forums seem to have anything useful to them. there very little in the way of grown up debate over things the actor has done in the past and what roles people would like to see them in, in the future. there seems to be a large pack mentality to the forums where if someone doesn’t agree with very one else they are hounded till they either agree or don’t post on the site any more.

Looking at some forums for music bands I like I have noticed a huge difference in the way posters on the forums talk about the bands and other posters. there is a lot more respect and people seem to get the idea that they have no right to say who the person should be dating and such like. On the forums they have the ability to debate the good and bad points of work that as been produced and no one seems to be singled out for bullying.

I have yet to find a forum for an actor that i can say the same about. And that’s just sad. Surely people who follow the forums for actor have the ability to see that the things they are posting are just weird if not down right crazy. never mind the ones where you are left wondering if the poster should be in a mental hospital. which as some one who has family members who have mental health issues I don’t say lightly.

Maybe at 24 I’m too old to “get it” as a lot of the people posting on these sites seem to be in there early to mid teens and don’t have a grasp of whats socially acceptable yet. Plus with easy access to the internet and how anonymous it is, its easy for people to say things that they wouldn’t think of saying in “real life”, and those things hit a larger audience then they otherwise would.

Surely these people have better things to with their time then casting about menace for people they will never met in a format that can be seen by any one any age.

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