One of lifes certianties is that we will miss someone at some point in our lives.

Whether that is getting home sickness when going away for the first time as a child. To missing our first love when not with them.

To the worry that missing a child leads to when they are out of sight. Just because you know the child is ok and more then likely having fun, it doesnt stop you missing them and wanted to be with them to see what their doing.

After becoming a mother and spending time away from my son i have come to realise that i didnt know just how hard missing someone was. How it could take over every waking moment and lead to almost physical pain.

I spend time away from son through things that i cant rememeber that i did when drugged up tot eh eyeballs on depression medication and seditives. So its my own fault that i dont see my son often and spend pretty much every day mising him.

I know that the pain i feel from not being arouund him and hearing about him spending time with other people, spesh people he calls mummy who i have never met, is nothing compared to what i would feel if things had gone differently when we where going through the courts.

If my ex who i miss almost as much as my son had’nt won care of our son, i would more then likely never see my son again. Going through every day not knowing how he is doing or if he even still lives.

I was reading a story about a mother who had her kids taken off her full stop and she went through each day missing them and not knowing how they where doing. One if the kids got ill and she was asked to donate a kidney to save their lives, but she wouldn’t be allowed to met them.

She did so, didnt met her child, but knew that they were going to be ok. Which meant the world to her. So shes back to missing her family and waiting for the day they will be in touch again.

But its not just people we miss. We miss the relationship we have people. The things we gained from it and the things we shared with thqat other person. Things we wouldn’t or couldnt have done without them. Like for instance making a child together.

That child is only the way they are because of the two people involved in making them and bringing them up. Add someone else to the mix and they have imput into the way teh child is and that makes you miss who the child could have been. The way they would have been if things hadn’t gone the way they did.

We go through life missing someone almost everyday. Who that person is, is open to change. The reasons why you miss them are all down to that perticuler person and whats going on in your life at that time.

When someone dies the amount you miss them eases with time, as you know that you wont be seeing them again in this life. Where as knowing that person is still alive and out there something little will bring back to you just how much you miss them and make you miss them again.

Thats part of what it means to be human and to live and love in this world. No one said it would be easy, but damn they dont tell you just how hard it will all be at times.