I was reading the Daily Mail, (I know, its full of crap and you can’t trust it. But, it gives me a laugh at its twisted views and majorly bad spelling and grammar. And that’s coming from a dyslexic who forgets to use the checkers for such things!), And came across a very badly written article about this disorder.

I’m going to say from the outset that as far as I’m aware I don’t know anyone who suffers from this condition, and as such will be writing this blog from the perspective of someone trying to understand it, and wondering what my reaction would be if my three-year old son developed it.

The basis of this disorder is that someone feels they were born with the wrong body, often from a young age.

A lot of people don’t use the above term, they say they are some sort of Trans. There are many different types of trans out there, such as the most common, transsexual. But there are people who were born into the wrong body and don’t want to go through surgery to change it. They are often refered to as transgendered people. People who have come to the conclusion that they are a different sex to the one they were born, neither of the sex, or a completely different sex with attributes from both. Sometimes for religious reasons, sometimes just because they feel that the result isn’t close enough to what they want for them to go through the pain and expense.

Which are all vailed points given that it is major surgery that is often unreversible and has sometime unpredictible results.

Now in this day and age there are tons and tons of toys that are aimed solely at one of the sexs. For example dolls and push chairs. It is considered normal for a little girl to want to play with them and boys to not be intreasted in playing with them. And, if boys are intreasted or do play with them then they are considered to have something wrong with them

I can say from my own personal experince that there is nothing wrong with boys who do that. I have a yonger sister and brother, and for a lot of my brothers life there where more girls toys for him to play with then boys. And he was quite happy to sit and play with the girls toys, copying what his elder sisters did with them.

My son was in foster care for a while and when a new baby arrived at the foster house he developed a love of playing with dolls. They reminded him of the baby who he was only allowed to touch under certain circumstances. When it was time to feed the baby or change him, my son would get a doll and pretend to feed it and change it. Taking his led from the foster mother.

Thats just normal copying behavour in a toddler. I’m told i did the same thing when my mother had my sister, and by the time my brother was born i was old enough to help feed and change him. (and that has yet to change, still feed the uni student. Love you bro if your reading!)

There is a center in London called The Tavistock Unit. Where Gender Identy Disorder kids are sent for assement, help and treatment.

At this moment in time in Britian you have to be over 16 to take hormone drugs for gender reasons. But this unit is trailing drugs that will stop pubity on kids as young as 12. They say themselves that they dont know what the long term effects will be and that all the families involved are well aware of the risks that may be involved.

Now I’m not comfortable with this. I’m of the view that we dont really know what we’re going to be thinking and feeling in five weeks time never mind five years when we’re kids. I know I didnt think that far ahead. Hell half the time it was hard to think even a day ahead when growing up.

But, its also not for me to condem these people for doing what they think is best for their children. I know if my son wanted it as his mother who refused to give up parental responsiblty i would have a say in if it happened or not. And i honesty don’t know what i would say.

It depends on how old he was and how long he’d had those feelings i guess.

There is a wonderful blog on here called raising my rainbow. in which a woman desribes life with what she terms a gender creative child. A son who likes girly things and is keen on making his own way in the world. She is an insperation to everyone who reads her blogg, and i hope that if my son ever becomes gender creative that i will be able to deal with it as well as she does. I know some members of his family wouldn’t be able to deal with it at all. Mainly the male side of his family. The female side prob wouldnt care that much as we all have mates who are guy are think nothing of spending a night in drag.

Theres also the story of the parents who didnt tell anyone including their child what sex they were until the child was 5. They claimed that it was so the child didnt feel compeled to act/ play in a certian way. I think it was slighty irresponsible of those parents to do that. And that they may have planted the roots for problems later in their sons life. As things stand he’s just a little boy living in nowhere’s vill America but by the time he’s in high school and he and his class mates are googling themselves he’s going to have a hard time of it.

I believe that we should let kids be who they want to be as long as they arent hurting themselves or others around them. And if they want to say their a girl/boy when their not well explain to them that they have boy/girl parts and must use those loos in public. Otherwise just let them get on with it. Most will grow out of it, and if they dont, jsut love them the best you can.

 

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