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Labour Party Conference

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Today is the start of the Labour Party Conference.

I myself wont be there. I’ll be honest with things that have happened during the last few months I forgot to apply to steward it, like I have done in the past. But my Grandmother as always is there. Yet again she’s working it and is working in the backstage area. There you have all the works for sound and video, but also an office for the Leader and Deputy leader to use where pretty much no one can get to.

As a steward your expected to work hard for min wage but you have fun doing it. Your pretty much all access ID lets you in the hottest events and often during the leader and deputy leader speeches every one working manages to be in the main room to watch.

This Conference really is the first chance that the leadership can properly put across their plans for the party and how they are going to make them happen.

This Conference is the “biggest one” for the party in a long time. Even more so then last years. Last year was about shooting the starting gun for the run up to the election. This one is about proving that the new left wing leadership voted into place in the last three weeks has what it takes to unite the party and lead us in to a bright future.

This isn’t helped by the likes of Simon Danczuk writing opinion pieces in the Daily Mail trying to tear apart the party. Complaining that Corbyn won. Saying that they themselves are being bullied for not being fully behind the new line up.

Well Mr Danczuk I’ve got news for you. I didn’t support you on a personal level while i was living in Rochdale. But that didn’t stop me from campaigning on your behalf. Using the basket on my three month old son’s pram to hold the leaflets you wanted putting out.

It didn’t stop me from coming to meetings to plan the next weeks events and taking part in them. Hell having bad post natal depression and being scared of going outside I still managed with a lift from someone you’ve now tried to drag through the mud to get to the Head office in Rochdale and help organise drinks and food for the people who where helping out on election day.

To me it was just what you did for your candidate. I can remember my mother eight months pregnant with a two year old in a pram and a nearly five year old me posting leaflets through doors during the 1992 election. My mother wasn’t impressed with the candidate we had then but she still did her bit.

So for the likes of Mr Danczuk this week at Conference is about pulling the party together, showing the world that the party can unite behind a leader who was fairly elected to the post and look to the future and what we can do to get elected and make the country better for every one.

The biggest Challenge this week will be on Tuesday when Corbyn gives his first ever Leaders speech at Conference. This is always the part where the party unites and hangs on the leaders every word. Hearing what their plans for the next year will be.

I was in the room when Tony Blair gave his last speech as leader. And I’ll admit I shed  a little tear at the end. It was moving and full of hope for the future.

I was in the room for John Prescotts last Deputy Leader’s speech. My main memory of that was of laughter. Just like all his past Deputy speeches it ended the conference on a high note to cheers from the crowd.

I was in the room for the first speeches of Gordon Brown and Harriet Harman. Neither where as moving or funny. But both where full of hope and setting out their vision for the future of the party.

For all Leader and Deputy speeches the lines to get into the room start forming at least two hours before bums on seats, which itself happens about an hour before the speech is due to start.

To get into the room if your not working you need a special ticket which is like gold dust. If you don’t have one of the tickets by the middle of the first day of Conference you aren’t getting in. Even the press have to have one of the tickets. The only reason i got to see the speeches I did was because i was working as a steward in the room on those days.

I don’t see it being any different this year. If anything the tickets must have run out earlier then normal. All MP’s have to be in the Leaders speech and are often seated before anyone else close to the stage. That sadly includes the likes of Mr Danczuk.

To be honest I think people like him who go running to the opposition news papers to make a few quid and tear apart the party should give up their seat to someone who is willing to work for the interests of the party no matter who the leader is. In politics as in life you might not like your boss but you show a united front against the world no matter what your opinion of them is.

I know a lot of people who aren’t happy that Corbyn won, but who’ll be watching his speach as avidly as any other by a leader. Who keep their opinion of him to themselves in public while working for the party and putting on a united front. We have a leader who was voted in with a vast majority by members of the party, so we have to respect that and work towards the future united and with one clear message.

Is that really too much to ask for?

I’d like to think it isn’t.

Finding something I didnt know was lost.

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Friday night I died my hair for the first time in years.

And i feel great. I’ve gone from a very dark brown to a very dark red almost purple.  And I found after doing it and seeing the results that its something I was missing in my life.

I started dieing my hair when I was fourteen. Back then it was just getting it to be a few shades lighter then my natural colour. When i turned seventeen i started experimenting with colours after a few hits and misses I settled on a bright in your face red. I was that coulor untill i moved in my ex.

The last time I died my hair was when my son was three months old and it was to make my hair a brown close to my natural colour. Since then i’ve let the hair grow out and become its almost black brown.

Any one who knows me knows that my hair is a big part of who I am. For as long as I’ve been in charge of my hair its been long. Very long. The shortest i can ever remember having it is a couple of inches below shoulder length and not being hapy with it, as i thought it was too short. The longest i’ve had it is below my bum. That didnt stay for very long as i got fed up of sitting on it.

At the moment its about waist length and will more then likely stay that way till i’m old and very grey. Or i get together the balls to have it cut short so that the hair can go off to be made into a wig for charity.

I stopped dieing my hair cause my ex wasnt keen on me doing it, and liked it natural. It wasnt a lot for me to give up for the sake of being with the man i was going to marry. He gave up things for me too.

So i stopped expressing mysekf through my hair and got on with life. Only life got shit and I’m now with out my son and the man i was supposed to marry is now with someone else.

My threapist when i saw her on thursday asked what i liked doing as a way to express myself before i got together with the ex. I told her about dieing my hair and all teh colours i haev gone. And thre ones i would never go.

Pink and blonde are to pretty much the only colours i would never go. Pink because its not a colour i’m fond of and blonde because I have olive toned skin and it would just look stupid. I grew up with a naturaly blonde sister and best mate. Who are the oppisite ends of the blonde scale and both of their skins look paper white compared to mine, even in winter.

So the thearpist ordered me to die my hair over the weekend. We talked about it for a while as i wasnt sure its something i wanted to do.

However i did it and something inside clicked into place. I’d found something i didnt know i had lost. I’ve been on a bit of a high since i did it and nothing has been able to bring me down so far.

I know its not a lot and seems like nothing to a lot of people but i realise that i gave up a big part of myself when i stopped dieing my hair. I’ve taken a bit of contolr over my life back and it feels great.

I think the thearpist was right when she said that i was still chained to a rule my ex put upon me about dieing my hair. A rule i havent had to follow for a year.

Now i’ve done it i feel like i’ve taken a part of myself back from the me. A part he’ll never be able to take from me again. Its a small thing finding the part that was missing after being with someone for nearly five years and a way of getting my control back.

Who knows next time i may go blue.

It’ll be a while before i go bright red again. too many memories of the early days with the ex to go back to that colour just yet.