Is being raised a christian a bad thing?

According to Richard Dawkins it is.

he was raised Roman Catholic and claims a lot of the teachings mess with people’s heads long into adulthood.

From the age of seven I attended a Church of England church every week. And I believed in God and everything that comes with it in the way only a child can.

After I was confirmed into the faith I became an altar girl and every other week preformed those duties for six years, before I started questioning my faith and eventually came to the conclusion it wasnt for me after not getting answers I needed to stay in the church.

Some of my happiest childhood memories involve things that happened through the church. Much of that because I had I fantastic vicar who really knew how to get kids involved in the church.

So untill recently I would have disagreed with professor Dawkins.

But my child who sadly doesn’t live with me came out with a statement because of the way he’s being raised a christian that broke my heart.

his father recently re found his faith, but not before knocking up his then girlfriend less than a month after thy got together. he found faith and they got wed in what I consider to be a cult church not a real church.

I didn’t marry my ex before my son was born as I felt the money was better spent on preparing for the baby and I hated growing up knowing my parents only got married because I was coming along. they had an unhappy marriage, and like a lot of kids I blamed myself for them  not being happy. I didn’t want my son knowing we wed because he was coming before the planned date we had already set.

My son told me because I didn’t marry his father before he was born, he’s not a real child like his half-sister. That god doesn’t love him as much as her because we weren’t married and that we don’t love him properly because we didn’t marry. That he shouldnt be loved as much as her because we didnt marry.

None of that is true.

At least not for my side of his family who love him unconditionally and will do anything to make sure he knows he is loved, wanted and very much a proper child.

but because people at church and his own father have said things along those lines in his hearing he thinks it true.

My ex claims no ones said it around him when I challenged him about it, but my ex isn’t good with the truth, even more so when it could make him look less than good in others eyes. So I don’t believe him. plus by going to a cult church were I know I’m considered less than human because I refuse to believe in their god I wouldn’t put it past them to say nasty things about me to him even if it something that makes him unhappy.

My understanding of being a proper Christian is loving everyone no matter what and not making them feel bad for something they didn’t have any control over. Even more so when that person is an impressionable young child.

When I found out that this half sibling was coming I worried that he would be treated differently to her and think he was worth less than her and because of the way the so-called christians around him are behaving it has happened.

And it breaks my heart that he is moved to tears by what so-called christians have said to/ around him.

It’s not christian and I have come to the conclusion that raising a child in the way is worse than anything I was accused of as this is something which plays on his mind a lot and will more than likely do so for the rest of his life.

it saddens me to say it and believe it as I wanted him to have the same happy memories of church and associated events that I had growing up. but because I wasn’t married to his father when he was born he’ll never know the happiness I did as a child at church. the half sibling might since in their eyes she is a real child who is loved properly and god accepts her in a way he doesn’t my son.

 

Related articles

• Raising a child as Christian worse than sex abuse? Oh, do put a sock in it, you atheist Scrooge (dailymail.co.uk)
• Richard Dawkins: Census shows that Christianity in Britain is ‘on the way out’ (telegraph.co.uk)
• Famed atheist professor says ‘being raised Catholic is worse than child abuse’ (misebogland.wordpress.com)

Supernatural part 1

I love not just the show but the genre of the supernatural as a whole. Ghosts and things that go bump in the night have interested me for years.

Part of it is the very human need to know that this life isn’t it. That there is something else for us to move onto. I’ve always thought that a loving God would allow loved ones to come back in spirit form to visit us. whither we see them or not.

I grew up listening to stories of how when I was younger I would be at my Grandmothers and sit talking to my Grandpa who died when I was one.

How as a four-year old I was swinging on the furniture laughing and when asked what I was laughing at I said Grandpa and the two doggies. My grandmother asked if I could see Grandpa anywhere else and I pointed to the pics of him. Unlike in the pictures my Grandfather was stoop up, which in his last few years he couldn’t do for very long.

Or how as a two and five-year old I would sit in my bed and tell him about my new baby brother and sister. Well in the case of my sister babbled at him in the way two-year olds do.

So its fair to say that I have always believed in ghosts. And a small part of me doesn’t get why the church says ghosts are evil and don’t exist when one part of the holy trinity is the holy spirit, which takes different forms throughout the bible. So if one spirit can be good and bring peace to people then why can’t others?

Why is it wrong for a young girl to see the spirit/ghost of their dead Grandpa and be happy and comforted by it? Which is what I was told when I talked about it in a sunday school lesson on the holy spirit and how it brings happiness to us all. Which is part of the reason why I left the church.

Do I still see him now? I couldn’t swear to it. Would I like to be able to see him again? God yeah. Even in death he brought happiness to a young girl who needed it.

So I’ve gone along to Spiritualist churches, including the one where my Grandpa’s funurel was held. And been spoken too once or twice. Where I was given a message from a high-ranking military man. Now I don’t know anything about such person, and have been told by my Grandmother and Mother that this person has been talked about in connection to our family before. But, they don’t know who he was.

So if we’re working on the basis that ghosts/spirits exist, then other supernatural entities must have a fair chance of existing as well. Like demon dogs, huge black bogs with red eyes. That depending on where you come from are either the form of your death, the harbinger of your death, or something sent to terrorize god fearing folk.

Stories of fair folk, who either help look after children, steal them from their families or swap them for one of their own when the children are babies.

To that end babies were put in their cribs with various lucky charms led around them. Most made of iron, since iron burns the flesh of the fair folk.

Or how if you ventured into a fairy den they would kidnap you, one of them would take on your from, and as long as you where alive they would live your life in the outside world. The only way to get our loved one back was to kill the copy and hope that the fairies released them instead of killing them.

Many people, largely women and children died because their loved ones believed that they a changeling sent by the fair folk. Their deaths where long and torturous. Often involving fire or hot irons being applied to the skin, to a) get them to admit to being fair folk, and b) kill them to get their loved one back. The torture often went on for hours if not days, and was something that the village men would participate in if the threat was considered great enough.

Theres so much more to talk about, but I think this part has got big enough. So I’ll sign off now and write another part later.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Hope

Its such a small word that means so much.

Without hope the world is a cold hard place. Somewhere where you’re lost with out a clue where to turn next.

With hope the world can be an easier place to live. With hope you are able to see things in a positive light. Know that some how things will go your way and that theres someone out there who feels for you the way you feel for them. Even if you haven’t met yet.

We all have hope in various things, and have that hope given  us by the things going on around us.

A word, a deed even just reading an post or articule can make you feel lighter and more hopefull.

But it is really hope and worth something when you have it under false pretenses.

When your led to believe that something will be one way, and it turns out to be something else. When people tell you do this that and other and you’ll get the positive outcom. You do those things with the strength that hope gives you and then have it torn away from you. Often with just one or two careless words.

Words that to that person dont mean anything, but mean the end of your world. Often people dont see how that hope was there in the first place, never mind why you’ve been destoried by having it taken away again.

We all have hopes and dreams for the future and will do whatever it takes to make them come true. Even if it seems impossible that they will.

Without hope even getting out of bed in the morning can be a step too far. What do you have to get up for? Another day of doing the same thing over and over. Of not getting anywhere with anything. Why should you try? It all jsut goes tits up anyway. Nothing ever goes your way.

Hope jsut sets you up for a fall. Hope means you have fther to fall when the fall comes, which it always does. whether you see it coming or not.

Even if you dont have any hope for yourself and your life, you still somehow manage to have it for the people you love.

For the brother whos at uni. For the sister you dont talk to. For the ex who tore your world apart after promising the world. For friends you’ve lost over time or pushed away.

But most of all, for the child you helped create. The child who is yet to lose any of their innocence. Yet to learn that people lie and that mum and dad dont know all the answers.

The child for who everything is new and wonderful. And, Bad things happen to other people who within a short amount of time get rid of the bad and have good things again.

The older you get the harder it is to keep hold of any hope. Experince tells us that no matter how much hope you have something will likely go wrong.

As a child you tend to have nothing but hope, and alot of that is to do with the fact that there is always an adult around to look after you and pick you up when things go wrong.

Its human nature to have hope in something. Thats why religion of what ever flavor will always have someone following it. And, why people will always find the strength to get through the day. No matter what happens to them.

But as hope is a flimsy passing emotion, there are times when someone has just gone too long without hope or had it takena way from them one to many times and the world just seems a bit too hard to deal with, so they end it. But in a way they do have hope. They have hope that by ending their life on this world they will find something better. If thats nothing, then so be it. Nothing is better then going through life without hope and pain.

I’ve been a selfish bitch.

I have posted a couple of blog posts on here that make for very hard reading about my current situation. Reading that i will not take down but i more than likely shouldnt have posted in the first place.

The reason i wont take them down is that they helped convince my doctor that i need help to get back into a positive mental state after the past couple of years, and that i’ve made progress in admitting those posts arent helpful in any situation.

During the past coupole of weeks i have lashed out and ignored people who only wanted to help me and destoried relationships in some cases beyond repair. Thats all on me and to be honest i wouldnt blame some of those people if they never wanted to talk to me again after some of things i have said. Not a nice thing to admit about yourself but the truth never the less.

I’ve forgotten that i’m not the most important person in the world, my son is. All i’ve seen is my hurt feelings and tried to get what i consider my right by any means at my disposal. Which in turn has made things hard on my son. Which really is the last thing i want. He has gone through enough in his short life thanks to me letting him down, with out me adding to the problem by being a total bitch to every one else.

Yes it still hurts hearing him say that this woman my ex is dating is his mother, but at least now my ex corrects him and explains to him that i am his only mother. And, yes i wanted to hurt this woman last week when i got a call from my son who was in sheds of tears cause this woman had upset him. It was hard having to reasure him that this woman didnt mean to upset him by not doing something he expected her to do. But it was what i had to do to make my son happier.  After that call i talked to his father and it ended in a row with me telling him to leave this woman for the sake of my son. Most diffinately something i shouldnt have said, and something i would have thought before i said it that i would never say.

Its not a surprise that my ex stopped me talking to my son for a couple of days after the way i exploded at him.

I could just try and take the easy way out. Blame it all on the depression i have been suffereing from since not long after my son was born. But that wouldnt be the whole truth. Some of it has jsut been me lashing out at people trying to get them to hurt just as much as i am at that moment in time.

This woman makes my ex happy, and to a degree she makes my son happy. which is all that should matter. And something i have been forgetting lately. When it comes to my son anything i feel or want isnt important. What is important is making sure that my son is happy healthy, keeps in touch with my side of his family and knows that even though i dont live with him he’s the most important thing in my life and i’ll always be there for him in any way i can.

I’ve hurt him and let him down enough without adding to it. And by lashing out at his father and trying to make him leave this woman that only going to hurt him and let him down futher.

Its about time i grew up and started acting like a proper mother to my son. I’ve got a long hard journey to break the habits i’ve gotten into and making myself the good person people want to know and fall for. Till then i cant expect anyone to want to be around me, or with me. God knows i’m going to try my hardest to beat the way i have been, and i will more then likely have times when i fail to do the right thing and make things worse for a while. But with the right help and support from the people who haven’t been pushed away its a journey that it possible to make. With the right help i’ll go back to being the person i like and reconise. The mother my son deserves. Cause after all i have done and let happen to him, he still some how loves me and expects me to be a good person.

And thats just what i’ll be. Hell at the end of the day, it’ll make my sons life better if his mother and father can get on and be civil to eachother partners if we cant be mates with thim.

Christian Evangelists.

I was reading eariler about a Christian group in Bath being banned from promoting themselves and their “healing powers” outside the Abby. I myself feel that this was a good thing to do. These people arent assoicated with the Church of England abbey and have no way of proving their claims.

I myself when pushed say i am a church of england christian, as that was the faith i was brought up in. However I don’t feel that i can truely be a christian follower as i have always had more questions then answers and never managed to get answers to my most important questions. Like for example IF God allows people to die horribly in natural disasters then surely that means god enjoys letting people be in pain and therefore god is satan as well. If god loves us all so much and only wants the best for us why has he given satan and demon cart blanc to tempt us, and then punishes us for being just as weak willed as he made us? To name but a couple.

My father spent ten years of his life crusading with a couple of evenelists and had true faith, he lost it when he saw people use faith as a way to get rich. He saw people who truely believed int he power of god and his kindness in letting a mortal man weild his power and heal them. Only to come back the next week and need healing again as it didnt work. And these people blame themselves for not being good enough, praying enough, not always having a kind thought in their minds etc.

Not once stopping to think “hang on, i have a medical condition and the doctor is giving me drugs for it. Drugs that are proven to work for my illness. I am a faithful follower and do my best to behave as the bible says i should. My god is supposed to be a kind god who doesnt want to see children suffer so why is he letting me suffer.”

Now i know that there is proof out there about placbos working just as well as the drug in trails. And that it has been put downto peoples faith in them reciving the real drug and expecting to get better. But that doesnt mean that groups like the one mentioned above should say they can heal you by praying or laying on hands.

In my fathers experince a lot of the people who are atracted to these type of christians are ones who are going through a hard time. have hit rock bottom like i have the past few weeks. Going off what my father says if i accutaly left the house and went to the nearest large town my current mental state is the excate state that these people look out for and prey on.

Yes i could love to have someone take away the pain i feel. Yes i would love to be able to find forgiveness for the pain i have caused and has been caused to me. Yes i would love to know that there is someone bigger hten myself who loves me and wants the best for me.

But i dont think that i am going to find that in a street preacher or a group who claim to be able to heal me and mine. The things we have gone through and the hurt and pain both emotionally and physically isnt something that will be taken away with a prayer and laying on of hands. Just like a lot of the illness that these groups clai to be able to heal.

In a lot of cases i believe that these people are giving false hope and in some cases even endangering lives by telling people they will heal them and they dont need to take the meds the doctor gave them. In the cases for terminal cancer that is cruel and could be stopping people taking meds that would prolong their life giving them more time with the people they care about.

There are the odd cases where going to these people and allowing them to take you under their wing does make your life better. We have all heard storied of drunks and drug addicts being taken in by these people, finding faith and leading better lives from then on.

When i worked in Blackpool i regularly chatted to a street preacher and was genuanly intreasted in what he had to say. At the time i was studing religon at collage level and disscussing the things i had studdied that week with him often helped me get those things straight in my head, or getting a real life persons perspective on what he and his church believed about x,y and z.

He never managed to persude me to go to one of their services, which maybe i should have done. But i had better things to do like studying and spending time with my boyfriend. I may have learnt more about his faith and htat if the people he shoce to surround himself with after getting off the drink. But if i’m honest “happy clappy” churches tend to freak me out. i left one church because people started throwing themselves ont he floor almost having fits, screaming and making animal noises. Thats not  my idea of practicing a faith. Thats just drawing attention to yourself away from the reason why your there. Its like i never understood the whole shouting out during a “normal sermon. By that i mean one aimed at adults. At the church i attended, where i was an alter girl. There was a service once a month where the vicar would get the kids to come to the front and he would give a sermon by getting them to act out scenes in the bible or testing their listening when he was reading the passages from the bible. More often then not the kids where given sweets for getting the answers right or just cause he felt like it.

Sadly he died and the only person who ever really tried to help me amswer the questions i had was gone.

I know this is an emotive issue and one where i may be in the minority. i look forward to reading your comments.

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• UK Christian group ordered to remove ‘healing’ ads (foxnews.com)